On August 14 our older daughter Annie gave birth to a son - Isaac Alfred Montgomery, 6 pounds, 13 ounces and 19 inches tall. Mother and child are healthy and doing great. Mother is losing her “baby fat” and Isaac is gaining his. We couldn’t be happier.

Isaac is our first grandchild and since we live within walking distance of their condo, we get to hold him almost every day. I had forgotten the joy of holding a newborn. The time I spend holding my grandson are the most enjoyable hours of my day.

He is perfect.

The first time you see little Isaac, you may be at a loss for words. You see, Isaac was born with a cleft palate. His upper lip is split and the front part of his palate is stretched over to the side which pulls his little nose to the right. This unique feature removes him from the list of what the world says is desirable. He isn’t the typical Gerber baby.
By the world’s standards, he’s not perfect.

That doesn’t matter to us…he’s our grandson and he is perfect.

I’m not trying to convince myself that he is perfect by repeating this mantra. Physically he may need an operation on his lip, but when I think about him, I only see perfection. I couldn’t be happier or more proud of my grandson.

If you have never held a newborn baby, you may wonder how we can say Isaac is perfect when he has an imperfect lip. I can’t explain it, but after you hold him for about a minute, you don’t even see his lip or anything else but this beautiful little cherub who is so precious.

Holding Isaac has helped me see life in a new perspective. The same week Isaac was born, I found out that the son and daughter-in-law of a close friend had a second miscarriage. Their whole family is devastated at the loss. To be honest, after her first miscarriage last year, I didn’t understand their grief. I’m ashamed to say that I thought, “The baby never was alive outside of the mother’s womb! What’s the big deal?”

After Isaac was born and I heard about her second miscarriage, I was devastated. I cried with a combination of sadness and joy as I held my alive and perfect grandson. We are so blessed.

That’s when I realized something; how I see little Isaac is how God sees us!

He sees us as perfect not because we are perfect – because we aren’t and never can be – but because He sees us through the blood of His Son. Satan tries to get us to dwell on our imperfections. His desire is to convince us that we aren’t worthy of God’s love, grace, and forgiveness. How can a righteous God love someone as imperfect as me?
Because He sees me through the Blood of the Lamb.

In the same way, the first time you see Isaac you may want to stare at his little imperfection. But that isn’t who he is. He’s going to have an operation to correct his little mouth, but I couldn’t care less. I don’t love Isaac any less because he has a split lip nor will I love him more when it is fixed. I love my little Isaac because he is my grandson!

Who died in the last Harry Potter book? Time magazine gives a very interesting insight.

“In The Lord of the Rings, J.R.R. Tolkien fused his ardent Catholicism with a deep, nostalgic love for the unspoiled English landscape. C.S. Lewis was a devout Anglican whose Chronicles of Narnia forms an extended argument for Christian faith. Now look at [J.K.] Rowling’s books. What’s missing? If you want to know who dies in Harry Potter, the answer is easy: God. Harry Potter lives in a world free of any religion or spirituality of any kind. He lives surrounded by ghosts but has no one to pray to, even if he were so inclined, which he isn’t. Rowling has more in common with celebrity atheists like Christopher Hitchens than she has with Tolkien and Lewis. What does Harry have instead of God? Rowling’s answer, at once glib and profound, is that Harry’s power comes from love. This charming notion represents a cultural sea change. In the new millennium, magic comes not from God or nature or anything grander or more mystical than a mere human emotion. In choosing Rowling as the reigning dreamer of our era, we have chosen a writer who dreams of a secular, bureaucratized, all-too-human sorcery, in which psychology and technology have superseded the sacred.” —Time columnist Lev Grossman (July 23, 2007)

YOU KNOW YOU’RE WATCHING TOO MUCH TV (AND DVDS) WHEN:

1. You hear the number 24 and your first thought is Jack Bower and not the number after 23.

2. You have the whole season on a set of DVDs of your favorite TV program.

3. You know what the initials CSI and NCIS stand for.

4. You actually care about the fictional life of a fictional character on TV.

5. You are able to understand the weatherman’s definitions of high pressure, low pressure, fronts, etc.

6. You stay up to watch Jay Leno or Letterman monologue and you end up watching the whole program.

7. You get emotionally involved in commercials.

8. You actually have a favorite TV commercial.

9. You watch the 5 o’clock, 6 o’clock, and 11 o’clock newscasts to see if anything changed in the past few hours.

10. You will watch Sportscenter on ESPN 24/7 if your wife would let you.

11. You watch your favorite newscast because the reporters are cute.

12. You have watched a favorite program so much that you know how the main characters will respond in various situations.

13. You justify the sex scenes on your favorite movies and television programs because they didn’t show “everything.”

14. You will alter social engagements to accommodate your television viewing.

15. You can’t remember what you watched the day before, even though you spent the whole evening in front of the television.

16. When you think of Apolo Anton Ohno, you think of “Dancing With The Stars” and not the Olympic speed skating champion.

17. You arrange your furniture around your television – giving it a place of honor.

18. You have a television in your bedroom.

19. You start conversations by asking people if they saw a particular television program last night.

20. You spend so much money on cable and a widescreen TV that you feel you need to watch more TV to get your money’s worth.

21. You think that you are spending quality time with your children when the whole family is watching the same TV program together.

22. You spend less than 40 seconds a day in meaningful conversations with your children and they spend more than 40 HOURS a week on “screen time” (TV, DVDs, computers, IM-ing, etc) and then you wonder why they rebel against your values.

23. You can entertain yourself with programs and movies that mock Christian values. And can justify it by telling yourself, “It’s not so bad!”

24. You eat more meals in front of the TV than at the dinner table.

25. You are too busy to teach a Sunday school class or a Bible study, but you always have time from your favorite program.

26. You turn on the television without knowing what’s on – with the thought that you are a good parent because you are watching the least offensive program.

27. You would rather watch sports on TV than play sports with your children.

28. You hurry the kids to be during the commercials so you won’t have to do it when your program is on.

29. You don’t mind people talking during the church service, but won’t tolerate anybody talking during your favorite program.

30. You don’t mind being late for church, but would never be late for your favorite TV show.

The following is my response to Bernard J who wrote,

I use to play RPG videogames back in the 80’s and 90’s. Two years after I became saved, in 1998 I threw all my RPG videogames in the trash. I thought that the use of magic was going against God’s word. I had games like Zelda (all of them), Chronotrigger, Secret of Mana, Final Fantasy and many more.

Now, for the last few weeks I have been reading your website. It is excellent. However, I am puzzled about your suggestions about playing RPG’s. My son is now six years old, and wants to play games like Pokemon and Dragon Ball Z, which I have been hesitate to do until I get more clarity on games like these and RPG’s. I need your help on distinguishing between what types of magic are biblical and what types are against God’s word. I thought that all magic was forbidden and that the bible states that we should stay away from it (Deuteronomy 18: 9-13.). I looked up on your website that gave a definition of occult magic.

“Occult magic would be games that base their magic system off of an actual religion such as Wicca or Satanism and should not be confused with magic systems in games that are made up for make believe purposes to provide a safe fun fantasy environment.” However I am still confused.

MY RESPONSE:

Dear Bernard,

When we designed our game grading template, the area of fantasy, magic, and witchcraft was cause of much prayer and discussion for our team. We ARE conservative evangelical Christians and know what the Bible teaches about witchcraft. We are NOT liberal Christians, nor do we adjust the Word to fit our needs.

The question we had to decide was, is every instance of “super powers” witchcraft? How about Superman and Batman? How about the Wizard of Oz? How about the Lion, Witch, and the Wardrobe and Lord of the Rings? It wasn’t as easy as we thought that it would be. That is when we came up with the definitions (check our rating template at this link).

Is the game showing real witchcraft; which deals with blood sacrifice, demons, and occult symbols? Games that deal with demonic images and/or possession of the soul is going to receive a low grade.

But how about when a cartoon character says, “Hocus pocus?” Is that the same negative grade? How about when the Wizard of Oz attempts to fool the people with his make believe magic? Is that the same? How about when Tom Hanks used “magic” to become a man in Big? Is Star Wars evil because they believe in evolution?

Where does it end? Is it all bad? Is it all fantasy? That is why we had to come up with arbitrary guidelines. Is the magic real? Or is it fantasy? Is it innocent or is it going to encourage the child to experiment? There are many areas of concern and some may fall through the cracks. All that we can do is “grade” the game by our above mentioned standards so you will be aware of what was in the game. It is then up to the parent to decide if it is appropriate for their family. Does this help? Let me know if I am still confusing you. We want to minister to and serve the Christian community.

In His service and yours,
Al Menconi

Last month Virginia Tech was the scene of another mass slaughter by a troubled young man. It seemed to have caught everyone off guard. How could he have done such something so awful?

I’m certain that you will hear many theories in the next few months. The most popular and the one getting the most press is, “it wouldn’t have happened if we had tighter gun control.” I personally don’t own a gun, nor do I like to be around them, but I have to question if gun control is the answer.

Many experts like University of Michigan professor L. Rowell Huesmann, argue that fifty years of evidence show “that exposure to media violence causes children to behave more aggressively and affects them as adults years later.”

Critics of his conclusions argue that there is no DIRECT evidence that violent entertainment (exhibit A) equals violent behavior (exhibit B).

The critics are right; there is no DIRECT link that watching “a specific TV show, movie, or video, or playing a specific game and or listening to a specific song” will lead to violent behavior. But when the average young person entertains himself for more than 47 ½ hours a week in all forms of entertainment, it is never just one song or one TV show, or one video or movie, or just one game.

How about if we fill our brain with violent entertainment 24/7, 365 days a year? Could THAT affect behavior? Could violent song after violent song, after violent video, after violent movie, after violent role playing game lead to and in fact validate negative behavior patterns? I believe the answer is obvious: Yes. And last month we saw another confused young man act out his widest violent fantasies at Virginia Tech.

In the past few years we have seen many mass slaughters of children killing children including Littleton, CO; Moses Lake, WA; Bethel, AK; West Paducah, KY, Stamp, AR, Jonesboro, AR, Edinboro, PA; Fayetteville, TN; Springfield, OR; Richmond, VA; Conyers, GA; Denning, NM; Ft Gibson, OK; Santee, CA; El Cajon, CA; and finally last month in Blacksburg, VA.

What do these communities have in common? They all had a troubled young man who was deeply involved with violent entertainment – especially playing violent video games - bring a gun to school and kill his teachers and classmates.

Tighter gun control laws may have been helpful, but I don’t think so. Why? We have always had troubled teens and they have always had guns available to them. What has changed in the past few years? The popularity and acceptance of violent entertainment including music, movies, and video games!

No, I’m not saying that Cho Seung-Hui and these other young boys killed their classmates because they played violent video games, but did their entertainment validate their violence as a response to the trouble they were experiencing?

Let’s examine what was filling the mind of the most recent mass murderer, Cho Seung-Hui.
1) He wrote a play titled “Mr. Brownstone,” which takes its name and some of its dialogue from the lyrics of a Guns N’ Roses song; in it, three teen characters fantasize about killing a teacher. Music!
2) Several scenes found in the video clips Cho sent to NBC News appear to reenact shots from the South Korean movie Oldboy, which deals with themes of obsession and revenge. Movies!
3) Cho had been a fanatical player of “shooter” video games, especially the ultra-violent video game Counter-Strike. (Washington Post, 4/17/07, reporters Wilgoren, Horwitz, and Pierre) Video games!

As Dr Phil states, “The problem is we are programming these people as a society. … Common sense tells you that if these kids are playing video games, where mass killing is glamorized on the big screen, it’s become part of the fiber of our society. You take that and mix it with a psychopath, a sociopath or someone suffering from mental illness and add in a dose of rage, the suggestibility is too high. And we’re going to have to start dealing with that.” —Dr. Phil McGraw, speaking on Larry King Live 4/17/07.

Is Dr Phil saying that violent games will make your child become violent? No, we can’t prove that Cho’s violent entertainment made him act out his violent fantasies, but it can easily be said that his entertainment validated violence as a reasonable response in acting out his fantasies.

What can we learn from this tragedy? Two basics:
1. Cho’s family was shocked by his violent behavior; they obviously didn’t know their son and brother.
2. His entertainment gave a pretty good clue as to his fantasies and thought life.

Our conclusion;
1. Get to know your child’s entertainment, it could tell you a lot about what is going on in his soul.
2. Proceed with caution when it comes to choosing video games for your children.

I agree that Don Imus was wrong and should be disciplined for his crude and rude remarks but….

I agree that Don Imus was wrong and should be disciplined for his crude and rude remarks about the Rutgers girls basketball team. Gutter language and racist language is never acceptable to describe women - or anyone. As a husband and father of two daughters I get terribly angry when someone refers women in this manner. But like Imus, I assumed this language was now considered acceptable in our society. Let me explain.

A few years back when I wrote record companies to express my concerns that some of their artists referred to women with the same verbiage Imus used last week, I was told that it was “free speech” and “just a song.” I was told that this language had become part of our popular vernacular; young ladies knew that it is only a song and that I should join the 21st century. I know that I am old but I didn’t understand how crude and rude was now acceptable because it had a rhyme or a good beat. Never the less, I quit writing and I just assumed that the world changed when I wasn’t looking.

But now, I find it hypocritical that CBS and NBC which controls some of the record companies I had contacted earlier are now concerned because some old white guy was trying to be funny and use the “common and acceptable” language of the day to describe a girls basketball team. I don’t get it, when rappers such as Akon, Snoop Dogg, 50 Cent, Ludicris, and others use the same language and worse in crudely graphic songs it’s called “dance music” and “free speech.” Which is it? Is it crude and unacceptable behavior or is it free speech and song lyrics? You can’t have it both ways. Maybe Mr. Imus should have rapped his remarks and no one would have said a thing.

I submit that most adults don’t have a clue that much of today’s popular music and many other forms of entertainment are similar to Imus’ remarks with a beat. We only care when someone “gets caught” and we are forced to take notice. We saw CBS express the same “shock” when Janet Jackson had a “costume malfunction” during the 2004 Super Bowl halftime show. Justin Timberlake’s and her behavior is considered “common and acceptable” in much of today’s programming aimed at our youth. When the NFL wanted to attract a younger audience and hired MTV - a division of CBS - to produce the halftime show to their Super Bowl, they were “shocked” that MTV also brought along its values. What did they expect? Our young people weren’t shocked because they had been watching similar behavior on MTV for years. They didn’t understand all the fuss.

Just this week, professional football player, Adam “PacMan” Jones got suspended for all of next season when he got caught in our society’s moral dichotomy during the NBA All-star Game Weekend last February. He allegedly instigated a riot, a shooting, and a murder when he threw thousands of dollar bills on the floor in front of a pole dancer in a strip club. Yet the number one album in our country today by Akon features a song, “I Wanna Love You,” in which a similar scenario is advocated. The song goes on to describe in graphic detail what he wants to sexually do to a pole dancer after he threw piles of money at her feet. I propose that Jones assumed that this was acceptable behavior because no one showed an iota of concern about the song. Is it acceptable behavior or not? I don’t get it! If it is not acceptable behavior in our society, how can it be acceptable behavior when sung?

The only conclusion that I can come to is it is obvious that our entertainment is “teaching” us what is acceptable behavior in our society and only on rare occasions such as the Imus talk show, the Super Bowl half-time, and when a “big name” in sports is suspended do we take notice.

I hope this article will help you understand your child better and also help you communicate your values to him/her. The following is my response to a mother who asked if I thought a certain T-Rated game was appropriate for her 10 year old daughter.

I looked up the game you wanted to know about on Google and it seems innocent. I encourage you do the same. I didn’t study it and my reviewers not familiar with it, so don’t take my word for it. Read about it for yourself and see if it fits your family’s guidelines.

If playing games is important to your daughter, you NEED to know what she is playing. It shows love and care. To put it in a different context: Would you allow her to walk to the mall alone? Probably not! But if she did go, you would want to know who she was going with; where she was going every step of the way; etc. Then when she got there, you would warn her not to talk to strangers and to be careful. If you didn’t show interest and let her go wherever she wanted, she wouldn’t believe that you cared for her and your actions would show that she was right.

The SAME THING is happening to her digitally. Are you allowing her to go to digital places that are unfamiliar to you and meet people who may want to do her harm? You have to see this as more than deciding on a game for your daughter. You are in the middle of a war for the heart and soul of your family. Deciding on a game is just the “first shot.” In this spiritual war, we believe that the entertainment industry is supplying the majority of ammunition aimed at your family and you need to be prepared.

With that understanding, I suggest that you make it a point to get to know all about her entertainment choices. In this instance; what is this game is about (check our reviews, when we don’t have it, go to the game’s website and read as much as you can). I suggest that you play the game with her (this is holding her hand on the way to “the mall”). I would discuss the potential dangers, if any, and generally find out as much as I could about the game. If nothing else, your research is showing her that she is worth your time and you are INTERESTED in her and who she is (a child’s entertainment is a good indicator of her character).

Also, when you show interest in what she is interested in, you are showing that you “care.” You can say “I love you” and “I care for you” until you are blue in the face, but until you show true interest in what interests her she won’t believe you. This is basic in developing an open relationship with your daughter. As you show interest in the things that interest her, she will listen as you discuss how and why they fit in your family guidelines. This is demonstrating love. It is important that she understands that her family loves her enough to have reasonable guidelines; and will lovingly enforce them.

Why does a child need to know this? Let me answer with a illustration that I experienced a few months ago. I was speaking at a convention and staying at a fancy hotel that had glass elevators. While riding up to my room I looked down 15 floors and realized that the only thing that kept me from falling to my death was a half inch of glass. It wasn’t much, but I felt safe leaning against.

Then I started to think. Would I stand so close to the edge if the glass wasn’t there? Would I feel safe? No way!! I would be flat in the middle of the floor praying that I would make it to my floor safely. Then I started to think how would I feel if someone made me ride in that elevator without restraints all day? I would be scared to death and I would try to get someone’s attention by yelling and screaming for someone to put me on an elevator with walls. If no one came, I would get really angry at the person who was forcing me to ride the elevator without walls.

I’m sure that you see my point. Your daughter is riding the elevator of life. There are constant ups and downs but as long as there are sides (guidelines) to the elevator she will feel quite safe; especially if she knows that you are ridding with her. She may push against your guidelines but it is just to make certain that they are still there. As she gets older and more mature, you can lower the walls a little at a time as she learns how to make wise decisions.

It is more than finding a game for your daughter to play. Use this time to help her know that you love and care for her and that you are providing her a safe place to learn how to think on her own.

The Nativity Story DVD can be wonderful ammunition in the spiritual war for your family.
I didn’t see The Nativity Story when it was in the theaters before Christmas, not because I didn’t want to. I just didn’t have the time. Besides, I read the Book and know how it ends – we win.

When I was asked to preview the DVD before its release this week before Easter, I thought that I would fast-forward through it looking for production value but I wouldn’t have to watch the whole thing to comment on it. We all know the story right? Boy was I mistaken.

Yes, it is the timeless story that every Christian and most non Christians know, but I was captivated by watching how life could have unfolded for the young teenage Mary. How would the village respond to an unmarried pregnant girl? How would her parents and Joseph respond? Why did she go to her cousin’s village to stay with her pregnant relative? How did the magi know to follow a star? How and why did Mary and Joseph end up in a stable? Yes the production and acting is excellent and nothing is added to Scripture while answering these questions and more. But the most fascinating aspect of this movie is to experience such a unique perspective to such a familiar story. It made me go back and reread the Scripture that I skimmed over so many times in the past.

Probably the most interesting was watching Mary and Joseph fall in love as they journeyed to Bethlehem. Yes, they intertwined a unique love story of two young people falling in love in this story of God’s love story to us. I strongly urge you to buy or rent this video for your family’s enjoyment and spiritual reinforcement.

The producers have even developed free downloads and sermon illustrations for pastors, teachers, and leaders at: http://www.nativityresources.com.

Target: Evangelicals
The documentary Friends of God delivers a distorted and dishonest picture of millions of American believers.

USA Today February 26, 2007
By Don Feder
Watching Alexandra Pelosi’s documentary Friends of God, showing on HBO all this month, brings to mind the carnival attractions of a bygone era.
Instead of “See the bearded lady and Jo-Jo the dog-faced boy,” it’s “See the Christian wrestlers and the Goth Christian teens with their nose rings and fuchsia-colored hair, talking about getting a religious ‘high.’ ” Pelosi takes a diverse and dynamic community (estimated at between 50 million and 80 million) and turns it into a cavalcade of the bizarre.
Blue Staters often picture evangelicals as a tribe of shallow and slightly loony fanatics. Pelosi’s documentary reinforces these prejudices. With minimal effort, the daughter of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi could have found a few evangelical scientists, stock brokers, dedicated inner-city teachers or counselors at drug rehab centers.
Instead, she offers HBO viewers the Christian Wrestling Federation, Christian miniature golf (where players putt through the empty tomb of the resurrected Jesus), a truck-stop prayer group and a Bible theme park, where an actor in robe and sandals dispenses parables. At a drive-through church, those seeking the spiritual equivalent of fast food can pray with a lady behind a plate glass window from the comfort of their car.

A camera and an agenda
It’s the tried-and-true technique of filmmakers with an agenda — find the most embarrassing and absurd examples of whatever you want to lampoon and get them on camera.
Pelosi’s piece is like a Bush supporter making a documentary on the anti-war movement by going to rallies and interviewing geriatric Trotskyites, dudes in dirty dreadlocks carrying signs equating Israel to the Third Reich and transgendered Scientologists.
A review in The Denver Post notes: “With smug narration and a condescending tone, the filmmaker…finds plenty to gawk at outside her hip metropolitan comfort zone. Nobody sounds more provincial than a New Yorker set adrift in the heartland.”
Pelosi follows the trail blazed by Heidi Ewing and Rachel Grady’s 2006 documentary Jesus Camp, about a Pentecostal summer camp for 7- to 12-year-olds in North Dakota. With thousands of Bible camps across the land to choose from, Ewing and Grady found the most extreme and scary.
In Jesus Camp, kids pray with a cardboard cut-out of George Bush. Campers weep uncontrollably as they are told they’re “hypocrites” and “phonies” — in a segment reminiscent of a 1960s Chinese Cultural Revolution self-criticism session.
Becky Fischer, founder of the “Kids on Fire” summer camp, comes across as a Pentecostal version of Mullah Omar, the Taliban leader who ran Afghanistan before the 2001 U.S. invasion. “I want to see young people who are as committed to the cause of Jesus Christ as the young people are to the cause of Islam,” Fischer confides. “I want to see them as radically laying down their lives for the Gospel, as they are in Palestine, Pakistan and all those different places.”
As reviewers noted, all that was missing here were the AK-47s and dynamite belts (giving a new twist to Bible Belt).
But that’s exactly the way cultural elitists view conservative Christians — as barely literate crackpots who could explode at any moment. As Rosie O’Donnell explained on ABC’s The View last year, “Radical Christianity is just as threatening as radical Islam in a country like America where we have separation of church and state.” Sneering at Christians is a favorite pastime of the cultural left. HBO’s Bill Maher calls politically active Christians “demagogues, con men and scolds.”

Focus on the oddities
Instead of fear and loathing, Pelosi uses the comically absurd to stigmatize evangelicals. Among other oddities, she presents the home-schooling family with 10 children, where the girls are identically attired in calico dresses — The Stepford Wives meets Little House On The Prairie. Occasionally, Pelosi gives the game away, as when she asks the Cruisers for Christ, rallying with their classic cars, “So, do you think the Holy Spirit is here in this Burger King parking lot?”
Not everyone is treated like an escapee from a Fellini film. As a foil to the evangelicals interviewed in Friends of God, Pelosi chose Mel White, formerly a speechwriter for Jerry Falwell, and now a gay activist.
White explains that people such as Falwell aren’t evil, but (presumably because they oppose gay marriage) hate people like him. We see White in Falwell’s church looking anguished for the congregants who are less enlightened than himself.
The HBO website says the film is “driven by (Pelosi’s) unflagging curiosity and genuine interest in learning about this increasingly influential community” as she “embarks on a fast-paced cross-country journey, offering snapshots of a cross-section of evangelical America.”
Pelosi presents not a cross-section, but the fringe. Friends of God is as representative of evangelicals as Ben Stiller’s mental-patient parents in Meet The Fockers are of Jews. But at least the latter doesn’t try to pass itself off as a documentary.

Don Feder is a former syndicated columnist and author of Who’s Afraid of the Religious Right?

I believe entertainment is a major factor in the destruction of the family unit. No, I don’t believe entertainment is the ONLY cause for the disintegration of the family unit – there are many causes, but I do believe it is a major factor. Let me explain my reasoning.
When I was a boy, most evenings our family would sit down together to watch a television program or two such as Leave It To Beaver, Father Knows Best, Bonanza, Maverick, Bob Hope, Red Skeleton, Jack Benny, I Love Lucy, etc. There were tons of inoffensive and enjoyable programs that our family could watch together. My parents didn’t fear the content. Their only concern was if I was sitting too close to the TV. We had heard that televisions gave off rays like X-rays that could hurt you if you sat too close. Honest.
Whatever entertainment we participated in, we did as a family. We may not have talked while the program or movie was going on, but we laughed at the same jokes, cried at the same pathos, we were frightened by the same monsters. We experienced it together. We didn’t try to be together, we just were together. We didn’t have any other option. We only had one TV. Heck, I didn’t even know anyone who had more than one TV. It was watching together or playing Monopoly with my brother.
Today, most families never or rarely sit down together and communicate. Why? Kids watch their favorite shows on their TV in their room, and parents watch in their room. The result is families rarely sit down together. Since meals are eaten “on the run,” most families never sit down together and talk – EVER. If we don’t talk, we can’t get to know, understand, or communicate with each other. Eventually the family becomes fractured. This doesn’t even take into consideration the negative content of much today’s entertainment!
Have you noticed how movies are marketed? Children’s films are marketed on Nickelodeon, tweener films on Disney, teen films on MTV, young males on ESPN, and females on Oprah and Lifetime. The only thing film producers see is a demographic; they don’t even know how to market films to families.
With the invent of computers, the Internet, videos, video games, and IM, families function quite independently without parental interference. Some homes are overwhelmed with noise… but little communication. And when parents do try to communicate with their children without first understanding the child’s entertainment, it becomes an exercise in futility because they are speaking a different language – literally.
Mom and Dad, it doesn’t have to be hopeless. You can get reacquainted with your family but it’s going to take work. Here are some basics:
1. Get the television out of your child’s bedroom.
2. If your child has a computer in his room, DON’T let it be connected to the Internet.
3. Have all of your computers with Internet connection be in a central location and the screen open to passers by.
4. Limit your children’s screen time (TV’s, computers, IM, phones, games, MP3s) each day/week.
5. Discuss TV shows, videos, and movies with your children and decide together what is appropriate for your family.
6. After you watch a program or a movie, discuss its worldview with your children. Is it appropriate for your home?
7. Get to know your children’s video games. Play with them – it could be fun or it could be a chore. The point of this exercise is to get to know if the game is appropriate for your family’s entertainment consumption.
8. Have “dark days” where all electronic entertainment is off for the day and play table games. This will force communication and create some family fun time and great memories.
9. Set the example with your entertainment. If a program is not appropriate for your children, it often isn’t appropriate for you as the parent either.
10. Pray that God, through you, will create a healthy environment for communication.